


the business of demons and humans

by hexed_vexed



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Demon!Shane, Demons Are Assholes, No Plot/Plotless, Pranks and Practical Jokes, believer!Ryan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-26 01:22:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18173987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hexed_vexed/pseuds/hexed_vexed
Summary: The antics between a human and a demon who are co-workers that also happen to be co-hosts on a web series about unsolved supernatural and crime cases.





	1. ARE YOU SALTY?

**Author's Note:**

> full disclosure: you can see this as friendship or relationship, it’s up to you.
> 
> find me on tumblr  
> @wheezealot
> 
> and i hope you enjoy the series.

Whether you’re at work, droning around the office in boredom, or in a haunted location with your co-worker who is being an asshole, you need something to spice things up a bit. To have a little fun with your day.

 

Normally, Ryan wouldn’t condone messing with demons and spirits for comedic gain - especially because Father strongly advised against it - but fucking with Shane was just too entertaining to pass up.

 

Today in particular was a slow day in the office. It was a Monday, everyone was sluggish, and someone would have to make a coffee run sooner or later for the sake of the staff’s sanity. When Shane found Ryan half asleep, barely able to keep his eyes from open at his desk, he acted like a prick.

 

“Watch it, Bergara,” he said early into the morning as Ryan nearly deleted the audio file for the latest Unsolved episode, “or you’ll get some actual work done.”

 

Ryan had tried to scowl at Shane, but it quickly fazed into a yawn. This only caused the demon to crack more jokes about Ryan’s sleepy state, annoying him with stupid questions like, “Can a crow sitting alone qualify as an attempted murder?”

 

It was nearly lunch time when everyone had started working on full steam and the atmosphere of the office seemed to lighten from then on. Ryan had opted for black tea since none of his co-workers wanted to go out and get coffee, but it wasn’t very energizing. There was no real jolt to it, he figured it was more of a flat drink.

 

Shane had begun blowing off his work as to irritate Ryan with his stupid antics and jokes. Ryan wanted to shoo the other man away and force him to actually edit or be productive, but to avail. Now, Ryan - being the clever person he believes himself to be - has a drawer in his desk.

 

This drawer is label by tape, which has _The Shane Drawer_ written on it in permanent marker. Ryan was the only one who knew the contents of said drawer, and smiled to himself everytime he spotted it. The objects in the drawer are meant for only the most extreme measures, and Ryan found that this Monday had fallen into the category.

 

As Shane was drawing on about the idea of guacamole actually being a jam, Ryan hummed absentmindedly in agreement and discreetly opened the drawer. He pulled a closed bag of salt into his lap and took a small pinch of it. When Shane continued his meaningless rant, Ryan cut in to warn him a final time. The demon blew it off and laughed, smiling deviously from ear to ear.

 

The smaller man then wasted no time when throwing salt onto the demon, earning a deep hiss and a flash of black eyes - Shane’s true vision, as he told Ryan - which had a defensive glint of red.

 

“What the _fuck_ , Ryan,” Shane complained, trying not to burn himself any farther as he brushed the salt off of his blistering skin.

 

“I told you to back off, Madej, but you don’t listen,” Ryan teased, rathered pleased with himself.

 

And so started the foolish antics between a demon and a human. Salt could be found strategically placed around the Buzzfeed office, in hidden nooks and crannies that only Ryan could reach. Holy water soaked in a plastic toy gun, blessed by the Father in the beginning of their adventures, in _The Shane Drawer._ Ryan would tease Shane with salt circles and food, taunting the demon from inside the confines which he couldn’t pass.

 

Shane had managed to have his fun, too. One night, Ryan had decided to work late. Shane had easily cut the lights in the studio, almost startling Ryan out of the desk chair. The demon would then envelope into the darkness, scratching along walls and whispering nonsense. Ryan was, needless to say, _scared shitless_ and was practically shaking with fright. When Shane eventually decided enough was enough, he morphed out of his natural state and allowed the lights to buzz to life. He had crept behind Ryan moments before, and suddenly squeezed the human in a bone-crushing hug, to which he yelped with surprise.

 

“Boo!” Shane yelled, immediately bursting into laughter after seeing Ryan’s unamused expression.

 

“ _Not_ funny, Shane,” he pouted, pushing the taller man’s arms off of his stiff frame.

 

The demon eventually let go of Ryan, and stumbled backwards into his chair in the studio, still howling with laughter. The scare and raw fear was almost a midnight snack or a well-deserved dessert, something Shane rarely indulged in - regarding Ryan, at least - and missed far too much.

 

“Shut up, you love me.”


	2. YUMA TERRITORIAL PRISON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Shane Madej_  
>  Rating: 5 stars  
> Comment:  
>  _The atmosphere was great! Despite being rather ghost-less, the prison was definitely a place I would like to visit some time in the future. Calm, peaceful, and the ghost stories are bullshit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made this second chapter about three times but i didnt save it so it deleted. yay me!

“Cowards!” Shane yelled into the empty halls of the Yuma Territorial Prison, his booming voice carrying through the contrete walls and cells. 

 

He and Ryan had decided to go off camera and split up. While this was partially Shane’s manipulation, Ryan had said he wanted a true experience with the spirits. Shane knew Ryan was more sensitive to ghosts and spirits than most, and more approachable. So, they gave each other ten minutes to wander alone, no cameras or electronics. Only a flashlight and the wind whistling through the metal grates and creaking doors of Yuma Territorial.

 

Shane sighed heavily, turning to lean against the concrete wall. It was chipping away with spiders crawling nervously in every nook and cranny. He looked to his left and right, scanning for any signs that Ryan or anyone else could possibly walk by. When he was assured that he was alone, Shane allowed himself to fade into the darkness. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose before blinking. The demon’s true sight painted the white of his human eyes a void-like black, his pupils showing a tint of crimson. A weight felt lifted from him when he changed forms, no longer burdened by long, human limbs and a weak frame.

 

He wasn’t ashamed of his true form, but he was skittish about Ryan _seeing_ him. Shane has seen what kind of physiological effects laying eyes on such an apperition can have. It’s hard for the human mind to bend reality to the point where it snaps. The brain will go wild if it cannot justify something, if there is no solid ground for it to stand on. He doesn’t want to see Ryan hurt because of him. It’s part of the reason why Shane curses off and antagonizes demons and ghosts alike, to keep Ryan safe. But, it’s also because he finds it _way_ too amusing to see Ryan so shocked at how easily the insults slip off his tongue.

 

(“ _Fuck you!”_

 

_“Christ, aren’t they, like, your relatives or something?” Ryan scolded incredulously at Shane, flailing his arms in surprise at the demon’s outburst._

 

_”Actually, I don’t know these guys too well. I haven’t talked to many ghosts,” Shane said with an edge of curiosity, his eyes wandering up one of the many staircases of the Winchester mansion._

 

_His eyes flashed black as he scanned across the room, looking cautiously for anyone. As it turned out, there were a few people, not at all hostile, but definitely not in the mood to talk. They were dressed in period-typical clothing, some dancing, others clinking glasses. Possibly friends of the Winchesters back in the day. There were no angered soldiers as many people supposed there would be, with all of the curse nonsense. It was a heartwarming sight to behold, though. Shane found it a shame that humans couldn’t see things such as this. Not most of them, anyway.)_

 

Shane drifted from then on, from cell to cell, from shadow to shadow. The place screamed of historical injustice, which always made for an interesting visit. An inmate sat against the wall in his cell, a noose tight around his throat, reading the paper. A group of women played poker, laughing and hurtling snarky comments at one another. One had a few bullets in her chest, different one wheezed as she breathed, but no one paid any mind. It was, in an odd, unconventional sort of way, peaceful. It was possible that Ryan was losing his mind on the other side of the prison, but it was also just as possible that he was basking in the darkness just as Shane had. Listening for any signs of past lives.

 

As Shane reached the ten minute mark of his journey, he tried to concentrate on the feelings that were instilled in the prison. There was a hanging fear in the air, no doubt about it, but it felt stale and worn. Mysteriously replaced by a spiritual joy the ghosts mutually shared. Shane came to the conclusion that he very much liked this place. It was an undeniably horrible place for the inmates, but they created an atmosphere of calm in their deaths. Those that still clung to the memory wanted to resonate in peace rather than anger. Shane admired that. He turned the corner, shifting back to his human state and allowing the black of his eyes to wash away into a white. His irises painted themselves a soft brown. A flashlight suddenly shone in Shane’s face, and he instinctively brought his hands up to cover the bright glare.

 

”Sorry,” he heard Ryan say and the light traveled to the concrete wall. “How was it?”

 

Shane shrugged and looked at the ceiling and walls, as if studying the building for a final assessment. He put a hand on his chin and stroked his beard in thought.

 

”Ya know, not bad,” he finally concluded, focusing back on Ryan to see an unimpressed expression on his face. Shane laughed, a sound that came from deep in his stomach, and slung his arm around Ryan’s shoulders as they walked out of the Yuma Territorial Prison.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments keep me goin.


End file.
